If you only Knew
by Torylalala
Summary: Kaoru wishes his brother Hikaru could understand the way he feels. That to him its not just a game. Standard Ouran Twincest Fic. Yoai. Not even close to being done so I'm not sure about the later chapters. First fic.


I watched Hikaru from across the room. I stared at him as he talked--no--_flirted_ with Haruhi. It was at times like these that I found myself _hating_ Haruhi. I wished for Hikaru to speak to me the way that he did to her. Well, he did... When we were servicing a client.

Apparently Hikaru said something rude to Haruhi because suddenly she was yelling at him to go away. And where did he go? To me of course.

"Kaoru..." He said in that mock whinny voice that always made my stomach do backflips, "Haruhi is being mean to me." He came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled into my side. Haruhi just stared and walked off muttering something about being rich...

"Hikaru." I said to my brother.

"Yes, Kaoru?"

"What was that all about?" He looked up at me from his spot on my shoulder and smiled.

"Nothing, all I said was that I could easily pay for her to wear a girls uniform and she got all puffed up about it." He smiled and laughed-and my stomach jumped-then let me go.

"Are we opening yet?" I asked him.

"As soon as our lord gets back... I think he's picking up costumes..." Hikaru made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, "We're Greek gods today."

I laughed and walked over to an empty table to mull somethings over in my mind.

one hour later

"...And then Kaoru jumped and scrambled into my bed!" Hikaru laughed as we played our little game. I went with the sad embarrassment this time.

"Hikaru!" I said with unnecessary squeakiness, "You said you wouldn't tell..." I proceeded to tear up and bite my thumb nail.

Hikaru's eyes brightened as he caught my hand and held it in both of his. He came close to me, nose-touching close. He looked into my eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Kaoru. I never meant to make you feel sad." He then wiped away my fake tears and the girls then squealed.

Thats all it ever was... All it ever was--A show. It made me sad just thinking of it. If only Hikaru knew that my feelings were real, that everything I said to him during our "shows" was heartfelt? How would I ever know if he felt that way too? But he couldn't, wouldn't, he was my brother and it just wasn't right for brothers to feel that way.

"But, damn, I do!" I through a pillow from my bed and watched as it thunked against the wall and fell to the ground. I was sitting on _my_ bed, which was hardly ever used. I lay back and stared at my celling. I heard a knock at my door, "Come in!" I said to the door.

It was Hikaru.

"Kaoru, what are you doing in here all by yourself?" He asked as he walked towards my bed.

"Nothing. Just relaxing." I smiled at him and took my laid back position again.

"Mind if I join?" And he jumped on to me.

"As if you _ever _ask, and this isn't relaxing." I laughed at him and attempted to push him off of me. I couldn't, "Hikaru, if you don't get of my lungs are going to collapse."

"You're such a baby Kaoru," Hikaru laughed but still didn't get off of me. His face was just inches from my own. He suddenly looked me right in the eye; giving me-what I thought was-a slightly _seductive_ look. My quick intake of air made him laugh again, "Your hilarious." He then rolled off of me.

"I can breathe again!" I said cheerfully, "So. What do you want?" I smiled at Hikaru.

"Nothing... I was just curious as to why you were in here, you hardly ever come in here. Geez, most of your clothes are in my room anyways." Hikaru motioned to my almost empty open closet, "We should just turn this into another guest room."

"Well... I don't know, I just felt like coming in here is all." I turned on my side, facing away from Hikaru. He then poked me. Repeatedly.

"Yes, Hikaru?" I pushed his hand away when he didn't answer. A few moments of silence passed. Then he started poking me again. I tried to ignore him but it started to get rather annoying. I pushed his hand again. And it came back. Again. "Hikaru..." He just kept. Poking. Me!

I turned quickly to my other side to snarl at him but found hat he was much closer than I had thought. Very close. Our noses almost touched.

"Hikaru--" He silenced me by placing his fingers over my lips.

"Quiet. I just want to try something." He laughed and removed his fingers carefully, testing if I was going to actuallty be quiet. I was too shocked to say much so I was. He smiled at me the moved his hand to rest on my side, fitting it into my girl-ish curves. He pulled me closer still and I could feel his warm breath fan over my face. His hand began to roam. It ran down my side to my hip and to my thigh and back up again.

I would have bet money that you could hear my heart beat from outside the door.

"Hikaru..." I whispered, "What are yo--"

"This will work perfectly." He said cheerily as he rolled off of the bed, "Thanks, otouto." He then left. I heard my door close and I let out a few uneven breaths.

"So it was only a test... for our next _fucking game._" I said to myself, "Ugh..." I rolled over onto my stomach and laid there for at least another two hours until I eventually fell asleep.

At about 6 o'clock I got up and took a shower. I stood under the warm streaming of water and closed my eyes. I could still feel Hikaru's hands roaming over the length of my side... Even as I thought of it that wonderful tingly sensation began to spread through my stomach and I was already feeling... Hot.

No! I'm not supposed to have this feeling from thinking about my _brother_!

I tried to wash the feeling away but it didn't work. The more the water massaged into my skin the more I clutched at my abdomen and doubled over. It felt as if his fingers were still there rubbing into my skin. I remember exactly where they went, even though they didn't go far. But it _was my_ memory... I could remember it however I wanted...

This time, Hikaru's hand did not stop at my hip and leave. When it slipped down to my thigh he cupped his hand around it and hitched it up over his hip. His other hand moved to move a strand of hair out of my eyes. The hand on my thigh now moved to my behind. Kneading and rubbing it then trail back up to my side. I felt Hikaru's warm breath on my neck now as his buried his face there in the crook between it and my shoulder. I lightly gasped when Hikaru's hand feathered over my stomach and hooked the hem of my shirt with his fingers. He slowly slipped his hand under it. I took a quick intake of air as he found one of my nipples. I could feel him smile into the crook of my neck. He began to play and tweak my already hard nipple as he gently ground his own very prominent hardness into my thigh. I moaned as his clothed member brushed against my own hard-on and ducked my head into his hair. He continued to tweak and tease my tender bud as we both bucked against each other.

I heard a knock at the bathroom door and I gasped and fell down hard in the shower as I was brought back to real life. I was breathing heavily as I lay on the floor of the shower when Hikaru came rushing into the bathroom.

"Kaoru!" He pulled the shower curtains back, "Are you okay, did you hurt yourself!" H quickly scanned over my wet body checking for any wounds luckily my position hid my erection. I groaned as I felt a pain in my head. "Kaoru!"

"Hikaru, It's okay..."I groaned again as I felt a little pain in my back from hitting the soap dish on the way down, "You're getting soaked, I'm fine."

Instead of getting out of the water he reached in to grab me. He hefted my up and out of the shower. He then placed me on the toilet seat and turned off the taps, "Kaoru you're bleeding." He said as he looked back at me.

I reached up and felt my head, and when I pulled my hand back a little trickle of blood ran down. Hikaru quickly grabbed my a towel and wrapped me up. "Come one, I'll put a bandaid on it for you." He smiled at me as he helped me up and out of the bathroom.

I guess I did hit my head pretty hard because I was feeling kind of dizzy and a little weak I also couldn't stand up straight... Wait that was a different ailment...

I hoped that Hikaru had not noticed it. What would I tell him? I was fantasizing about some girl in the shower? No. He knows that I'm not interested in a girl right now... Nowa_ boy_, thats a different story. Maybe... No, I couldn't think of any excuse. I'm not usually the sexual one. Hikaru has wet dreams much more often than me and is usually the one in the bathroom... relieving himself. Thats just not me. Every once in a while yes, but definitely not like this had been. Sure I had fantasized about my brother before but never with some prior source backing up the thoughts.

We got to our room and Hikaru made me sit on the bed while he got some first aide stuff. When he left I made sure that the towel was gathered in a way so that you could not tell my that erection was still standing tall. Gosh this was one sucky day.

"Lets clean you up." Hikaru smiled and sat next to me with all his medicinal things. I saw the alcohol and cringed... With the amount of blood I had seen this was going to sting alot. Hikaru noticed my take of the alcohol, "Sorry, otouto, I can't find the peroxide." He gave me a sympathetic look and grabbed the bottle and the cleaning pads.

Oh, yeah, its stung.


End file.
